smooth brain by design
So I got my brow and forehead shaved down, a "minor" FFS, and what's more, it's entirely covered by my insurance. Because my insurance (Kaiser Permanente Colorado) is fucking amazing.
Surgery was a little less than a week ago, and I've been cooped up in the house since we got home. Same day. I was expecting at least a night in the hospital, but I guess it was no big deal to send me home, for which I was mostly grateful. We were planning for me to come home, take off my bandages, and clean up right away. Instead, I had to come inside all gross from surgery and sleep on the air mattress for a night. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't our plan, so I had to hang out in the car for a little bit while Justy set everything up. He's been amazing through all this, I am well aware of the toll it would take on anyone, but him especially. So I'll detail his car super good, since I probably got banana bread all over it on the drive home.
It's not even been a week, but I'm really happy with the results. It's both more and less dramatic than my expectations, considering we didn't do any of the really invasive kinds of surgery (like actually removing and setting back the forehead) but just getting out of the shower and seeing myself with a towel in my hair and my face, it's just...it's better than I could have ever imagined. My eyes have been opened up so much, their shape will certainly be different, and I already feel wildly more confident to be viewed in profile. I don't remember when exactly that particular dysphoria hit - when I noticed, or realized, just how fucking chunky my brow was, how my profile would clock me so easily, and the sense I have now of just like - wow! That's me! That's way more me than before! That feels pretty good.
And so far, it's worth the price of admission. The nasty "headband" cut through my beautiful curls, the swelling, the weird tight numb skin all over my forehead, being cooped up during my favorite time of year, all the difficult family stuff, missing work, everything that comes with surgery, just all of it. I feel incredibly lucky and tremendously grateful. But I also feel a weird tingly forehead.
So, off to play NTE and get to bed before tomorrow morning where I can finally get this fucking surgical drain out of my life for good.